Lindsey Muller, an attack helicopter pilot and chief warrant officer, has spent nearly 19 years in the Army. Muller’s career has included deployments to combat zones, where she’s been shot at by forces intent on bringing her plane down.
But Muller, who is transgender, said the biggest fight of her life is at home. After President Trump announced a ban on transgender people in the military last year, it wasn’t clear how much longer she’d be permitted to serve. Muller’s situation grew even more uncertain Tuesday when the Supreme Court decided to let the legal battle over Trump’s policy play out in lower courts but also allowed the Department of Defense to implement the ban in the meantime.
Muller, who planned to file her retirement paperwork in just a few months, now has no idea if she’ll be booted from an organization she calls “one of the best in the world.” The Supreme Court’s decision put Muller’s career at risk — and as a result, her retirement and pension — a fate shared by an estimated 15,500 transgender service members.
“I’m still trying to process it actually,” Muller said. “It’s discouraging, disheartening, and painful. But nonetheless, the fight continues to go on.”
That fight will take place in the court system as federal judges continue to hear arguments in related lawsuits against the Trump administration. Muller is a plaintiff in one of those suits, Karnoski v. Trump, and is represented by Lambda Legal, a nonprofit organization that advocates for the civil rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.
Peter Renn, counsel for Lambda Legal in Karnoski, said the decision issued by the Supreme Court is not a ruling on the merits of the case itself. In fact, several preliminary rulings from federal courts around the country have already found the ban unconstitutional, and Renn is optimistic that the lower courts will ultimately come to the same conclusion.
“The vast majority of courts have seen the ban for what it is: irrational, rank discrimination,” said Renn.
The Supreme Court weighed different factors in choosing to let the government implement the ban, a decision that was supported by the five conservative justices and opposed by the four liberals. The variables included what Renn described as the “balancing of hardships between the sides and whether or not one side might suffer irreparable harm.”
“The vast majority of courts have seen the ban for what it is: irrational, rank discrimination.”
“From our perspective, this is only going to cause harm to transgender people who are serving, and the military itself,” Renn said.
The administration’s policy includes a grandfather clause for people like Muller who transitioned before the ban’s implementation, but the government made that clause reversible, meaning it can revoke it under certain circumstances.
Pending a decision in a related case in Maryland district court, the Department of Defense will be able to proceed with implementing the ban but has yet to announce how it will begin putting it into action.
Muller said the limbo has left transgender service members anxious about their careers and lives. She added that for soldiers who pride themselves on “initiative-driven performance,” it’s devastating to feel disavowed by the government because of their gender identity.
For Conner Callahan, the Supreme Court decision threatens to put his dream of enlisting in the Air Force Reserve even further out of reach. Callahan, who is also a plaintiff in Karnoski, saw the breaking news story while at the gym, where he swims, lifts weights, and runs to stay in “excellent, ready-for-duty shape.”
Callahan said he’s been working with recruiters to enlist for years. He’s collected hundreds of pages of medical records related to his transition to give to recruiters. He’s also studying for the military’s equivalent of the SATs, and hopes to one day work in explosive ordnance disposal. In civilian terms, that means he wants to diffuse bombs.
“It is really hard to wake up every day and not know what’s going to happen and to try to keep your faith and keep your hope,” said Callahan. “All I can hope is that eventually I will be accepted.”
Muller said her faith comes from the people she serves with, many of whom reached out Tuesday to see how she was handling the news. While she’s motivated by their support, she’s also acutely aware that, if it were up to the Trump administration, no transgender person would serve in the military.
“Their service should be rewarded, applauded, and respected, not vilified,” she said.
“We’ve proven our worth, but under certain political tensions we’re seen as a threat or some sort hindrance,” Muller added. “I cannot agree with that.”
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